Pan-What?
by BlackGeneralNocturna
Summary: Homura is on kitchen duty frying his breakfast using his frying pan as always. Then a guy that makes his heart skip and his friend come in. Then one of them has to ask. What is his sexual orientation? Well... The two other admins respond differently to the answer... Will be two shot. Homura is Anime Tabitha. Kat is an OC belonging to MoonlitHoundoom, Riley is mine
1. Chapter 1

Silly Team Magma oneshot.

Homura was in the kitchen cooking bacon and eggs with his trusty frying pan when he heard the door open. His heart skipped a beat as he noticed who entered the room. Brodie and Blaise. The thief flashed a grin and leant against the surface as he looked at what Homura was cooking. Homura was on kitchen duty for the admins that day. Brodie would eat ANYTHING Homura served. But Blaise was a little annoyed by all the fried eggs and omelettes.

"Ah~ This looks good Rara, could you cook me some after you're finished? Your cooking is awesome!" Homura blushed at the compliment but smiled and nodded.

Blaise rolled his eyes, glancing at Homura's cooking breakfast in disgust. It wasn't that Homura was bad at cooking, it was that Homura only seemed to cook foods with frying pans. So for breakfast with Homura on kitchen duty they would have bacon and egg, sometimes pancakes on special occasions. For lunch, fried toast or fried egg. For dinner, omelette or a ridiculously late traditional breakfast.

And his frenemy Brodie didn't care, he'd just eat whatever Homura gave him. And Brodie was rather picky. Blaise had the feeling even if Homura magically burnt something, Brodie would still eat it. He was just a fool, so lovesick he'd make himself sick with food poisoning if Homura messed up.

But only Arceus would know if Homura actually felt anything for the thief or anyone. The older male may be flustered easily but that was just his personality, unable to handle compliments. He had attractive girls like Kagari and Izumi explicitly expressing their interest but he didn't reciprocate, or at least act on their interests. Maybe he was just gay.

And didn't act on attraction as he didn't want anyone to know he was. It was next to impossible to read him now, with his panic disorder sorted and the only reminiscent of his once shy personality was that he got flustered still. His personality had changed remarkably, Blaise had to say. For the worse. Torturing pirates. Setting them on fire. Brodie must be mentally unstable himself to like that. Or he just never saw Homura interrogate an Aqua grunt. As this sadistic behaviour only erupted when Homura was ordered to interrogate infiltrators.

It was now Blaise decided to ask the million dollar question. "Homura, are you homosexual?" Homura accidentally turned the dial and almost burnt his breakfast. He turned it back and gave Blaise a surprised look. Instead of denying anything he says...

"Did you seriously have to ask me that when I'm cooking?"

Brodie chuckled and decided to contribute to the conversation. He was curious... "So, are you?" Homura sighed and went back to his cooking, getting another frying pan and starting to fry more bacon and eggs. Did he know how to make anything that didn't include pans?

"No, I am not. I...I'll admit I'm attracted to males but I'm not homosexual." Blaise rolled his eyes at Homura's response. He didn't show attraction to the girls so he must be. Then again he did not have a clear as day attraction to guys either. Maybe...

"Are you bisexual then?" He asked. Homura shook his head.

"Nope. I did date Kat when we were younger though." Homura finished making his breakfast and concentrated on the other pan. Probably Brodie's breakfast. Blaise was feeling a little jealous. His friend used to date Kat? He hadn't even got close to her yet. Though the mystery of Homura's sexuality was starting to irritate him though. He wasn't straight, he wasn't gay, he wasn't bi... What was he?

Brodie chuckled as he noticed Blaise's frustration. Although he tried not to show it, Brodie could sense the irritation and jealousy irradiating off him. Though he was still curious about Homura. Maybe Homura had some sexuality he never heard of? Or maybe he was demisexual...

"So what are you then Rara?"

Homura's response was quick and blunt. "Pansexual."

Brodie and Blaise went quiet as they exchanged glances. Pansexual? Neither of them had heard of that. But both of them had drastically different ideas.

"Uh... Pansexual? Does that mean you are turned on by cooking?" Homura gave Brodie a blank 'what the hell do you mean' look.

"Turned on by cooking, Brodie? Please elaborate." Inwardly Homura was dying of laughter at Brodie's interpretation. He actually knew what Brodie meant but part of him wanted to embarrass the taller man.

Needless to say he was embarrassed. What a stupid thing to say. With a burning face, Brodie elaborated. "I-I meant do you find people who can cook attractive?" He did date Kat... Then again how the hell did he not know that? He and Homura were best friends when they were younger!

Homura chuckled. "Not exclusively but it helps if my partners can cook."

Brodie made a mental note to himself. Learn to cook stuff other than basic food and microwave stuff.

Blaise's response to the unfamiliar sexuality was more of disgust.

"You mean you are attracted to frying pan pokemon, Homura?" Homura rolled his eyes at his question.

"Stupid, of course not." He stated bluntly. "One, I am not sexually attracted to any pokemon. Two, we've had ice cream pokemon, sword pokemon and even key pokemon but no one's made a frying pan pokemon yet. Maybe it'll be made in Gen VII. And I'll be the first to catch it." Blaise was about to ask another question when Homura cut him off. "And no, I am not attracted to my frying pans either."

'Geez, with how obsessed he is with them, he seems like he is.' Blaise thought. What did pansexual mean then?


	2. Chapter 2

The thief was in the kitchen, staring at the frying pan then the egg carton on the counter next to the stove. Homura said he was pansexual. So Brodie thought that meant he liked people who could cook. So the technicolor frea- I mean master of disguise would attempt to cook Homura's favourite food. Omelette. Simple and Easy.

Well, not for Brodie. He couldn't make toast without burning it 75% of the time. So Brodie would now prove himself!

…By trying to cook his love interest a perfect not burnt omelette.

Blaise was in the room betting with Courtney 5000 poke that Brodie would fail. Brodie was too busy thinking about cooking the perfect omelette (read: worrying about setting the kitchen on fire) to notice them.

Take 1!

Blaise looked at the charred black… thing… in the frying pan in disbelief then at the crossdresser curled into a ball lying in the corner sobbing.

"W… What the hell did you do?"

"I thought it was cool that twisting the nobs left and right made the fire dance…."

Courtney facepalmed and shook her head. "You idiot. Come on, try again."

Take 2!

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So, what do you two think?" Brodie grinned as he showed them a plate with an unburnt omelette on it.

"Uh…" Blaise started, looking at the plate.

"Brodie?" Courtney stared blankly at the omelette.

"What? I was careful not to have the flames up high!"

"That is not even cooked." They said in unison.

"… Okay, I'll try again."

"Remember Bro, third time's the charm." Blaise smiled weakly as he looked at the failed omelette and watched Brodie bin it.

"Alright, now I'll make the world's most perfect omelette for Rara!"

Take 3…

The kitchen was full of black smoke. Blaise and Courtney were covering their nose and mouth coughing whilst Brodie was in a fetal position.

Homura's younger brother Riley entered the kitchen and gaped at the smoke.

"What the hell happened here? Did someone let Mitch in the kitchen?"

For a second Blaise and Courtney thought he was Homura, the two looked nearly identical other than their eyes, Homura's being violet and Riley's being red. And the smoke wasn't exactly making it easy to see his eyes. Though Brodie could immediately tell it was Riley.

"Homura?"

"It's a long story," Courtney mumbled as she glanced at Brodie. Who was now out of his fetal position and blushing madly. How embarrassing, ANOTHER person witnessed his failure!

"R-Riley! Please don't tell Homura I set the omelette on fire, he'll think me terrible at cooking!"

"You are." The three admins said in unison as they looked at the pile of ashes in the frying pan.

Riley sighed and picked the frying pan up. Then he frowned and tipped the ashes into the bin, soot still stained the pan. He flipped the pan over and paled.

"Brodie?"

"Y-Yeah?"

"You just ruined Homura's frying pan."

"…" Brodie held his head in his hands. "Oh my Arceus, he's going to hate me. Rara is going to hate me."

"Your fault Brodie, not ours." Blaise mumbled.

"What is Brodie's fault?" The four jumped and turned to see Homura at the entrance, looking slightly irritated. Even more so when the smoke got him into a coughing fit. "Geez, did you two have a BATTLE in here, Blaise, Brodie? Try not to burn the headquarters down please…"

Brodie went as white as a sheet, Blaise and Courtney tried not to laugh and Riley tried to hide the pan.

"N-Nothing like that Rara…" Brodie murmured as he looked at his feet, pale skin now flushing red. Oh Arceus.

"Riley, what are you doing with my pan?" He was so screwed.

Riley smiled sheepishly and pretended to admire it.

"It's such a lovely pan, I wanted to figure what make it was." Homura rolled his eyes and took it off him.

"You know what make it is Riley." He looked at his pan and his eyes narrowed, he frowned as his eyes took in the stains. "Okay… Who killed my pan?"

Riley, Blaise and Courtney looked at Brodie and he smiled weakly.

"I don't know… I-I think Mitch came in an-" Homura gave him a blank look, raising an eyebrow and he sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "O-Okay, it was me." He suddenly dropped to his knees, leaving the others surprised. Especially Homura. "Please please PLEASE don't hate me Rara I was trying to cook you an omelette and it all went wrong and it set on fire an-" Homura put a hand on his mouth, muffling the frantic and fast words of the now confused yet scared thief.

"Slow down Brodie, what's this about an omelette? You're speaking too fast for me to understand. YOU killed my pan?" Brodie slowly nodded with misty eyes and Homura sighed. "Everyone else, get out." The others looked at him confused. He glared at them and they sped out.

"H-Homura, are you mad?" Homura shook his head and gripped Brodie's sleeve, he inwardly panicked until Homura sat him down in a chair, the violet eyed man sat opposite examining the frying pan.

"No I am not, I'm just confused. I've never seen you cook using a pan before, and none of them three were helping you I can tell. And did my ears deceive me or did you say 'I was trying to cook you an omelette'?" Brodie blushed and looked away, instead watching the smoke clear.

"I uh… I wanted to try make you something as you make great things for me. I wanted to do it on my own and kept messing up. First I burnt it then I undercooked it and just before you came in I um… Set it on fire. And it burnt and stained your pan. I didn't realise it was yours, sorry…" Homura sighed and raised his hand. Brodie flinched then flushed as the other male ruffled his hair.

"You didn't need to do that Brodie, but thanks." He smiled softly as his tanned face went slightly pink. "But that isn't the only reason is it? Is it also the conversation we had yesterday?"

"Well you said you were pansexual… Attracted to people who cook ain't it?" Brodie cursed himself for butchering his uniform so he didn't have a hood to cover his face.

Homura chuckled and took his hand, sending a bolt of electric through the younger man. "Silly, I said it helped, not that they had to know how to cook. Pansexuality is when you're attracted to anyone disregarding their gender identity, so it's like bisexuality but transsexuals, genderfluid people and agender people are counted in it too."

"I see… How silly of me…. But Homura, how do you know that you're pansexual and not bisexual?"

"Because you're genderfluid aren't you? And technically a transsexual with your crossdressing." Brodie looked confused then turned bright red as he realised what Homura meant.

"Y-You mean you…" The purple haired man smiled and leaned in, trying not to chuckle at his friend's face.

"Yeah, I know I'm pan because I love you." He pressed their lips together.


End file.
